I have always been happy with his daycare, but I have to say I have noticed such a change since he moved up to the toddler room. He does arts and crafts now, providing me with cutesie things to hang on the refrigerator :) Once a week they have water playday and get to eat snow-cones. He talks about his friends throughout the week, and this morning after church he was evening sing-songing one of his friends' names. I asked if he missed her, and he said, "Uh-HUH". So tonight at bedtime we recited all of his friends' names, and I told him he would get to see them tomorrow at school.
It's really tough as a relatively new mom to have to take my baby boy each day to a place that isn't our home, and further, to a place that doesn't contain any of our family members or close friends. I got to sit down with one of Collin's teachers recently and talk to her about my thoughts on our daycare experience. She has become a sweet friend and has even babysat for us on a couple of occasions. She was working on a project for one of her college classes, and I got to talk about my son and my opinions on her place of employment so it was a win-win!
I told her I think it's important for care-givers who work in a daycare to remember for a lot of parents it may not be their first choice to leave their child each day. These women who care for Collin all day, every day are spending time with him that I'm often missing out on. They get to witness him trying new words for the first time and learning how to handle new situations often before I get to see it. I told her, in my "mommy-opinion", she and her co-workers should see it as an honor and privilege that I have entrusted them with my baby. She's sweet and very passionate about her choice to pursue a career in early childhood education, so of course, she agreed with me!
That said, while our current status in life requires I work full-time and take Collin to daycare daily, I have often said that there is a good chance I will continue to do so even once we find ourselves in a different position. I love my job, and I enjoy working. The truth is that while I may miss out on planning fun activities for Collin and I to do during the week as a stay-at-home Mom, I think it might be healthier for our relationship (at this phase of things) for him to attend daycare and for me to work during the week. A lot of purest moms out there might gasp at that statement! I can't help it; I'm being honest.
I see the joy my stay-at-home mom friends get from being with their children all day, but I also see them haphazard and wanting to pull their hair out at times. I see them say that they cannot wait for their husbands to get home at the end of the day so they can receive some relief and take a shower. For me the opposite is true, I cannot wait at the end of the day to go pick up my little boy from daycare and begin our evenings spending quality time together!
Obviously there are pros and cons to both situations and we all make choices we feel will best suit us, but I am so tired of the Mommy Wars! I don't have a lot of working mom friends, and while the majority of my stay-at-home mom girlfriends are really good about not making me feel inferior or guilty - the rest of the world is not always so adept.
In addition to the fact that I work and Collin attends daycare daily....
I didn't make my own baby food...gasp!
I don't cloth diaper my son....gasp!
I didn't really strap him to my body and carry him around everywhere I went when he was younger...gasp!
I do, on occasion, let him "cry it out"...gasp!
I had never heard of "Raw Amber Teething Necklaces" until recently (we are way past the majority of our teething)...gasp!
Sometimes I forget that he is fussing because he can't yet communicate with me fully, and I get angry/frustrated/overwhelmed...gasp!
I'm sure there are so many more that I could list, but these are the big ones really jumping out at me lately.
I think the things above, that I didn't do for whatever reason, are just fine! But for me, they didn't happen. I either didn't have the time, the know-how or the desire to carry one or all of them out. However, I am really tired of feeling like a less than adequate mother for it.
Further, can we please drop the pretense and agree that we have all been guilty of caring for our babies in one form or another because of current trends? ...gasp!
It's not a bad thing. A trend brings attention to something that most of us may not be educated about. Our mothers certainly cared for us in certain manners based on something that was a current trend, so why is it that so many women are taking offense to this statement today?
I chose to nurse my son for well over a year. Prior to his birth, I thought I might try to nurse for maybe the first 6 months, but research and good, old-fashioned experience led me to continue to nurse longer. I would have nursed him regardless of the current "trend" in breastfeeding. However, I will say that I may not have chosen to nurse him (covered by a thin muslin blanket) in the middle of the Gaylord Texan during Christmas a year and a half ago if it hadn't been for all the girl-power attention being given to breastfeeding mothers as of late. One woman even told me, on another occasion, "Good for you honey. I'm so glad breastfeeding has come back into style!". I didn't take offense to that statement.
Having a child is both the biggest responsibility and joy of a woman's life. It is hard enough without fellow mothers bringing us down. I think we're all just trying to make it, and while I certainly think there are fundamental ideas that should play a big role in child-rearing, I don't think that the choice not to puree organically grown baby food or purchase a $200 strap of fabric to use as a sling for a fraction of my child's life, should be the things by which I am judged.
So, if you want to tell me about the latest and greatest technique you are employing for raising your child, go for it! I would love to hear about anything that might make my life easier. But, if you want to tell me that the car-seat I researched and spent mega bucks on received a minutely smaller rating than the car-seat you researched and spent mega bucks on, I don't think I want to hear it.
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